In my last blog I discussed the importance of cultivating your relationship with yourself and how to do this through practicing stillness. This week I’d like to discuss why this is important for all of your external relationships.
The fact is that most relationships are plagued by conflict and stress. All you have to do is look at the divorce rate to know that this is true. This is not to say that relationships are meant to be free of challenges, which is only natural.
What is not natural is an ongoing state of conflict separated by occasional periods of peace. So why is this the case? Why are so many of us at each other’s throats instead of in each other’s hearts?
The reason for this is the whole premise on which modern relationships are based. The premise on which most people enter relationships is to get something from the other person. This could be companionship, money, sex, status or any number of things that people enter relationships for.
The need for something from another person arises from the mind or the ego which most people identify with. Although the ego is an important aspect of who we are and helps us achieve great things in our lives, it is one of the lowest aspects of who we are, besides our physical body. The problem with this is that the ego only thinks of itself and not the other which is the main cause of conflict in relationships.
If the ego is only a limited aspect of who we are and is the major source of relationship conflict, how do we get beyond this? This is where cultivating your relationship with yourself comes in. By practicing stillness, like we discussed in my last blog, it allows you to experience yourself beyond thought, emotion, body and ego.
It allows you to experience the deepest aspect of who you are which is pure consciousness, awareness or being. When you experience this aspect of yourself, which is also known as the Higher Self, you realize that you are beyond need of any kind and abundant in every way.
This releases you from needing anything from anyone since there is nothing that anyone else can give you that you don’t already have, especially love. This is because the fundamental nature of our consciousness is unconditional love.
Once we realize this we realize that the purpose of our external relationships is not to get anything from the people who we enter into relationship with. This is because our true nature is infinitely abundant consciousness. Therefore the purpose of our relationships is to express this abundance which includes unconditional love.
Once we are able to reach this realization and live from our true nature of consciousness, infinite abundance and unconditional love, we will not seek anything from those who we are in relationship with. Instead we will seek to give to them freely from the depths of our being.
This is the beginning of enlightened relationships and the only solution for the troubled and caustic relationships that we witness in our modern times.
In the next blog, I’ll discuss how to start embodying your true nature to transform your relationships.
Nauman Naeem MD